Monday, May 12, 2008

Yarrr, Matey! Damn yer eyes!

It's extraordinarily difficult to type with no depth perception, I find. Why do I have no depth perception, do you ask? Well, I wore old contacts to bed last night and screwed one eye up something awful. It's watery and red and painful if I open it, so I currently have an eyepatch over it, pirate style. [Full Disclosure: I didn't have an eye patch so it's an Hermes scarf tied around my head.] The look is toped off by my glasses, crookedly perched on my nose. Brilliant.

All this trouble could have been avoided if I just got over my vanity and stopped wearing disposable plastic contacts. The earth would thank me and so would my eyeballs. Also: my wallet since I've already purchased the exhorbitantly expensive designer frames and I have to keep buying contacts at 40 bucks a box every month.

Damn yer eyes, indeed.

1 comment:

Dani said...

I wish I could get myself to give up contact lenses, too. I *like* glasses, in principle. I even like the way they look on my face! But my prescription's so strong they reduce my eyes to a size more befitting a fossorial rodent than a human being.

The other thing I can't give up? Shaving my legs (with disposable razor blades). I've tried to grow out my leg air so it can be soft and downy like my arm hair, but it never gets past the disgusting bristle stage. Why did I ever start shaving? Can you shave you legs with a straight-edge razor? (Ah!)

(I'm nearing the end of my fifth week without shampoo - an endeavor that was inspired by you, GGG. My hair was awesome the first week, kinda gross for three weeks, OK the next week, and now it's great! I found a boar's hair brush to be an invaluable tool. Granted, it violates your "no buying crap" rule, but I rationalized it away by claiming that purchasing a brush once was better than purchasing shampoo and conditioner forever.)